Motherhood... AKA years of sleep deprivation

This morning as many subjects swirl around my head, I have chosen motherhood to write about today.  It definitely is one of my passions.  

My girls are fast asleep in their room, after arriving late last night from spending the summer with their father, step mom and half sister.  I am so joyful that they are home!  The joy just keeps bubbling up, I can't hold it in.

I feel so blessed and honored to be their mother and to shelter and educate two such precious human souls.

12 years ago when I held my newborn daughter in my arms, I knew a level of unconditional love I had never imagined possible.  There was not a thing in the world I would not do nor give up to protect my daughter.  Soon I learned being a mother was the most difficult job I'd ever had, but at the same time the most rewarding.

I am privileged that I was able to choose to stay at home with my daughter and not work outside the home.  It took a lot of sacrifice, but it was, I believed, the best investment I could make.  By raising a healthy and happy child, I would be contributing to a healthier and happier world.

I respect and honor all mothers' choices.  Many do not have the choice to stay home, it is just not financially possible.  And I have the highest regard for women who are mothers and work outside the home and entrust their precious kids to another's care.  

For me,  the joys of being a stay at home mother, being with the kids each day, teaching them to use sign language and the many skills that were age appropriate, nurturing their friendships and finding fellowship for myself sometimes was over powered by the challenges of being a stay at home mom.  Being isolated from adults & adult conversation, never getting to leave my place of work (I lived there!), not getting adequate sleep or time alone.  There were unique stress factors of having a spouse in medical training for 8 years.

Currently the challenge is having to balance having primary custody with the consequences of the investment in their father's education while sacrificing mine to support him and raise our children.  But when I prayed about whether or not to go forward with a divorce, I knew it was the healthiest choice.  That if we could not provide a peaceful and healthy home together as a model for our daughters, who will recreate it in their own families, then I would have to create one on my own.  By choosing Peace in my home, I knew God would provide for us.  Because if we can't have peace in our hearts and our home, how can we ever hope to have a World Peace?

And that is my duty as a mother to choose and model peace....