I found Al-Anon phone meetings about a year ago. In December it will be a year. I had moved to Washington that June. I was still settling in. (How long do you think it takes after a major move?). I was ready to look for more support. I was very lucky that the Suquamish Tribe's Wellness Center provides mental health services for other Tribal members. I made appointments for myself and for my girls. And I looked for a local Al-Anon meeting. I also remembered hearing about phone meetings in my Anchorage Al-Anon meeting.
I found the list on the Alaska Al-Anon website.
When you call in you are automatically muted and it tells you how many people are online. It usually starts with the reading of the 12 Steps and has a theme. There can be a reading from some Al-Anon literature. ( there are amazing books! ) Then members are invited to share. You are usually asked to time yourself for 3 minutes. This is where the treasure is, listening to others share about what challenges they are living with and how they apply the principles of Al-Anon into their lives every day. And you don't have to say anything. You can only listen if you want to. Some groups have 40 or members online. So many, many people just listen.
To un-mute you press *1. There is usually an introduction at the beginning. I say - I'm Leigh Anne and I'm from Washington state. I found a meeting that normally has 10 people or less. I liked the smallness of the group. And soon they announced they would need a chair for the month of January. I had never chaired on the phone. But I was up for the challenge. There is a format online, so really I just read a script and then ask for people to volunteer by reading the Step of the month (12 steps for 12 months is pretty darn cool), read from any Al-Anon literature and then I help facilitate sharing.
I have made this phone group my home meeting. There is one about 20 minutes away at lunch time on Fridays, but the phone meeting seems to be more accessible to my schedule. This meeting's focus is on the 12 Steps, Traditions and Concepts. There are 12 of each. So each meeting we focus one. I have learned more about Al-Anon and how it functions through this foundation of the structure of the organization. There are local meetings, district and regional organization, National and International. The last International Conference was in Vancouver, Canada this last summer.
If you ever are in need of some serenity, call into a meeting. Just listening to other people sharing about their struggles and how they cope is an amazing tool for building peace in your life. I was gifted a book from my Anchorage meeting, How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics. Reading this book taught me a lot about myself and how the family disease of alcoholism is still present in my life, although I don't drink, neither do my parents. My grandfathers were alcoholic. And I believe there was alcoholism present in my daughters father's family.
My favorite is Step Two - came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. One it helped me recognize that yes my life before Al-Anon was truly insane. I knew there was something wrong, but I just never knew exactly what. And two, that it is the Creator who has the power to restore us. I have to use my relationship with my Higher Power to lead me out of Insanity and back to Sanity. The family disease of alcoholism and addiction and it's symptoms can be very handicapping. But there is a way to heal. A way to build tools that build peace and serenity into our life.
My favorite Slogan is Let Go and Let God. I like to think of my life as my side of the fence. And other people have their lives on their side of the fence. I can only control what is on my side of the fence. I have to Let Go and Let God take care of the other people. If someone behaves in a manner that I don't agree with, especially if it is directed at me or my children, I think of it as someone throwing their trash on my side of the fence. How I react to it is within my control. Many times I have to just ignore it. And other times the trash is big enough it needs to addressed.
I also teach this lesson to my girls. We can only change what is on our side of the fence. And it's important to recognize someone's trash on our side of the fence. MANY times the people throwing the trash try to tell you it's YOUR trash, when in fact it is not. Chuckles. I also help them to see when someone's words don't match their actions. It can be confusing when someone tells you they believe one thing, but then their actions say the complete opposite.
Challenge: if you think Al-Anon may help you, call into a meeting this week. There are meetings everyday. If you think a friend or family member needs Al-Anon share these links with them. Even if they don't have an active drinker in their lives now, if a parent or grandparent or great grandparent suffered from addiction, those unhealthy coping mechanisms are still present in their life.
http://www.al-anon-ak.org/
http://www.alanonphonemeetings.org/
