The Power of Attraction- a lesson in Synchronicity

So a fabulous story of Synchronicity happened the other day.  It starts a few weeks ago. Te Ata was working on a class project for her Career Options class. She had an interview scheduled with the Bainbridge Island Art Museum bistro. When she came home, she was very excited about an exhibit she had seen and shared she wanted the $50 book. $50? I knew I couldn't afford it at the moment and didn't think too much about it. 

Sometime later  I went to the BIAM for lunch and to visit the galleries. A treat for me! The  practice of making time for joy everyday and following the passions of my heart. After a wonderful lunch I had just enough time to walk through the galleries. As I went through Rachel Feferman's A Hole in the Heart retrospective, I was approached by a docent, Nan, and she told me a little about Rachel. Her grandmother had left Poland for America before the Holocaust but that it had affected her deeply. Her grandmother had hand sewn an apron as a young girl and this apron was seen as a theme in a series of large graphite drawings. 

I loved the story. And wanted to make sure to bring the girls to see the exhibit. When we discuss their heritage I always share that they are Tsimshian, Tlingit, Filipina, German and Jewish. 

So the other day I was feeling pretty worn out. Lena's struggle with anxiety had had a series of rough days. She didn't make it to school that day. We went to school, we sat in a counselors office because some days she can transition into her classroom but day she couldn't. So I brought her home. 

Her grandmother invited her to go to Barnes and Noble and then to go look for some art supplies. Lena didn't want to go. This is when her anxiety worries me. I understand the anxiety of school. But that she does not want to join the family for fun activities and outings really bothers me. My Mom and I agreed when she returned I would take a break and leave the house. 

When my Mom returned I had no motivation to leave the house, I almost decided to take a nap.   I didn't know where I wanted to go. I would normally go the Bainbridge Island Art Museum but there is construction on the bridge and I didn't have patience to deal with traffic. Our friend Margaret looked on Google maps and saw traffic wasn't actually very bad. So with that help, I felt much better about making the trek to the museum. 

I happened to stop by the gift shop first and saw the book for Rachel's exhibit. I asked the staff if the book would be discounted after the exhibit closed. They said no. So I asked if they knew if there was a youth scholarship fund and explained how my daughter really wanted this book but I couldn't afford $50. They were very helpful and gave me the name of the education department. 

I shared how I am a cup half full person, that I believe everything is possible and I believe in karma, what I give to the world comes back to me. As I walked up the stairs to see Rachel's exhibit I wondered what I could do to get Te Ata a copy of the book. 

As I began to look at Rachel's art work a man approached me asking if it was my first visit to the exhibit. I explained I have visited before, how Nan had told me about Rachel and how I wanted to bring my daughters before the show closed this weekend. Greg introduced himself and then introduced me to an elderly couple, Rachel's parents!!!  They were visiting from California. 

I shared how I was so pleased to meet them and how I really liked Rachel's artwork and how I thought the story of her Jewish grandmother was important for my girls to see.  I told Greg how my daughter really wanted a copy of the book and that I had got a contact for the education department. Greg smiled and shared he was the director of the museum and said how wonderful it was to hear the enthusiasm for the show and he had a generous donor who would give my daughter a copy of the book. He went straight away to grab it. 

I said good bye to Rachel's parents and shared how meeting them was now a highlight of my life. As I went down stairs and passed by the front desk, I shared with the ladies the story of what happened upstairs. They were so thrilled to hear it and insisted I take the book to the bookshop to be gift wrapped!  How the ladies in the shop laughed when they knew I had spoken to Greg, the director of the museum, and got a copy of the book for my daughter. 

It was only minutes. Less than 30

minutes since I had just told them I was a cup half full person, that I believed all things were possible and that what I gave to the world comes back to me.

This truly is a humbling experience. It was a great lesson of how the Universe works. When you ask for something, the Universe conspires for you!!  Sometimes the Universe can work quickly!  Chuckles. Not only did Te Ata receive the book she wanted. But I had the honor of meeting Rachel's parents. 

Rachel died at the age of 55 in 2010 from breast cancer. She is the same age as my mother. As I drove home in the warm sunshine, I could only imagine Rachel in heaven coordinating today's events!!  Making sure Te Ata got a copy of her book and arranging for me to meet her parents. 

So what will I ask the Universe for next?  Lol. 

 

Storms and Blessings, Lessons from the Journey of Life

I've been unable to write for what seems like months. I love to write. Normally I can pick a topic and start a conversation. But lately nothing has motivated me enough to actually sit down and write.  I keep thinking, "What could I write about?  My passions of Northwest Coast Art, helping to educate the community about Domestic Violence, my traffic light system of gauging well-being?" Nothing could bring me to write.  I could write maybe a paragraph and then, nothing.  

I knew it was tied to the stress in my life. I have been exhausted since August. So I accepted it.  I hoped that one day I'd feel strong enough to write again. It takes a lot of strength and courage to write and then to share it with others.  What if no one reads it!  What if someone doesn't agree with me?  Chuckles. I've learned that I write because I love to write. It gives me something. It makes me feel like I'm doing something that I'm gifted at.  And once in a while a friend will tell me how much they like my writing which always gives me more courage to continue to write, especially the challenging topics.

So this morning as I waited for the water kettle to heat up for my cup of coffee, I decided I'd write today for 30 minutes. I miss writing!  As I pondered what to write about, I thought about the Journey of Life.  Bingo! Makes sense since it is this journey that has cause me not to be able to write.  So the big question we all hear is, "What is the purpose of life?"  

Raised in Indian Country as a Bahai, I've always felt I knew that answer.  A prayer I learned young taught me the Creator "hast created me to know Thee and to love Thee."  To know and love our Higher Power, it is a Life Journey.  I also was taught to believe in a life after this physical life on Mother Earth and our learning continues.  So for me, "what is the meaning of this Journey we call life?"

Why did the Creator choose the family I was born into?  Why was I raised the way I was raised?  As an adult, I have learned that by being born in the USA, I won the lottery of birth.  If I was born in a third world country, I may not have clean water to drink, a toilet in my home or have the opportunity to go to school.  In some countries, I would not have the freedom of religion guaranteed or the right to free speech.

Reflecting on the last 6 years of my journey, I've learned some profound lessons.  My storms have taught me that learning how to know the Creator and how to love the Creator is all about learning about how to know myself and how to love myself and about how my relationship with the Creator affects that process.

By turning to the Creator first, by asking for guidance, protection, grace and mercy, I have learned that it is given.  Always.  It may not be how I would like to see it given, but it is always  manifested perfectly. In 2008, at 34 years old my whole life was turned upside down.  Everything I understood and believed in was tested. It is only the skill of prayer that my mother and grandmothers taught me that has allowed me to survive, to stay sane.  Some months were so dark and torturous all I could do was plead, "Please God save me."  

As the challenges came, I always turned to our Sacred Writings. I meditated about how to apply them to my life and even when it conflicted with others Interpretations I knew I had the right to my own Interpretation and it gave me courage to stand my ground and create healthy boundaries.  This connection to the Creator strengthens me.  By turning toward the Creator, attempting to apply the Sacred Teachings into my life, I was given confidence and faith.  

The Creator has designed a Journey perfectly for me.  It comes with storms that test my skills and give me no choice but to master guiding my Canoe through rough waters. Through every storm tools and concepts are sent to help me. I am stronger and wiser after every storm.  Blessings, the most amazing blessings, are sent to inspire me and guide me, to confirm I am on the right path.  

My journey is about strengthening my relationship with the Creator.

What are some of the lessons and skills you have learned on your journey?  What is your purpose of life?

Taking Back My Religion or walking the path of Individual Investigation of Truth

So my first test understanding that my Religious Community is separate from the Divine Teacher who Founded our Religion took place when I was about 18. I was working with a group of youth and I received a phone call from an irate  parent, lashing out about something that I had done "against" their child.  I'd known this family for a few years.  We saw each other often and they were always kind and courteous.  The experience of angry criticism really hurt deeply. I was confused why some one was so angry and why they would speak to me in such a disrespectful way.  I thought why am I bothering to volunteer my time working with youth, if parents are going to treat me like this?  

As I wondered how community members who uphold consultation and unity could act this way, I seriously thought why am I a member of this religion?  As I pondered these thoughts I was inspired that I love Baha'u'llah. I love His teachings, that are all about building an ever-advancing civilization.  That through the elimination of prejudice and racism, through the elimination of extreme wealth and poverty,  by having education available to all children and other principles we could walk towards Peace.  

That was the day I feel I became a Baha'i. I went from a child raised to a firm believer. I understood that we humans are human. We have short comings. And we have unhealthy coping mechanisms. We may believe in these principles but we are still learning how to live them. And we will continue to fail, we will make mistakes. Our learning has no reflection on the Power of the Teachings of Baha'u'llah nor does it make Him any less.  I believe He has given us gifts and tools that will teach us to build Peace.  I believe this is the way forward. Our short comings do not affect the destiny of our Religion.

My second lesson in this began in 2008 in Ann Arbor, Michigan when I recognized I was living with Domestic Violence in my marriage. I was lucky to have known about the United States Baha'i community's handbook on Domestic Violence. It gave me a deep understanding that we do not condone family violence and even non-criminal aspects are violations of Baha'i standards of conduct.  Yet I found no one in my community familiar with the guidelines or able to apply the knowledge into our current difficult situation.

Each Baha'i community that has 9 adults members elects a Local Spiritual Assembly every Spring to guide it's affairs.  They are described to be channels of God's grace and mercy for each community.  How heart breaking it was for me, when I realized that my community was too ignorant of current understandings of Domestic Violence to take any supportive action.  Here was the community I was raised in, that taught me the equality of women and men, but we have no systems for supporting women and children who live in unsafe homes.

This was also the case when we moved to Anchorage, Alaska. We were separated and moving forward with a divorce. And Alaska's community didn't even have a handbook on Domestic Violence.  I went to the Local Spiritual Assembly for help because my husband wasn't adequately supporting us.  I didn't have enough money to feed my children, and the LSA suggested we go to a financial advisor.   It was a difficult time of not driving more than we absolutely had to because I could not afford gas.  And we ate grilled cheese and tuna sandwiches while he earned a doctors salary.  8 months later my husband increased my monthly budget by $1200 a month as suggested by a financial advisor.

I received no supportive actions to assist me during a long period of financial difficulty and emotional and verbal abuse which continued the patterns of power and control.  Again there was no mercy or grace from these channels.  I stopped asking for assistance from the Local Spiritual Assembly.   I found help through friends.  One Baha'i friend dropped off jarred salmon, bread and juice when I mentioned I didn't have enough money to feed my girls.  Some friends had offered money but I was too uncomfortable to take it.  Now I know when some is hungry, just bring food.  No one can refuse it.

Why was I a Baha'i?  

This question continues to be asked as I look around the Alaska community and see the absence of the generation of youth who I spent my young adult life with.  When I returned to Alaska after 8 years in Michigan in 2009,  the absence of my generation of youth and the Alaska Natives was like a neon sign that one one else could see.  I bumped into young mothers in the grocery store, but never saw them at the Baha'i Center.  There were almost no Native Bahai's participating.  No one could tell me what happened.  

In the 5 years since I moved back to Anchorage in 2009  and have now moved to Washington, it is now my belief that the extreme denial of the challenges our youth face in upholding our high spiritual values in a world with none is the cause of this absence.  Our inability to accept that our youth will walk an Independent Investigation of Truth, that they will test these values in action and how we support them during and after has robbed us of a whole generation. We are too strict in our judgement. We exclude those we feel have failed. We do not practice compassion or empathy. We do not inquire after our friends and their children.  

That was my biggest concern this next generation of children.  The children of Abdu'l-Baha who have been excluded from our community because we are too scared of mistakes. We are too ashamed of challenges. We have no systems for accepting the path of Individual Investigation of Truth.  

As for the absence of Native Baha'i friends I believe it is an inability to have empathy for the hardships that we bear living with the consequences of historical trauma: poverty, addiction, violence. How do we help support our Baha'i families healing from racism, poverty and addiction?  Native Baha'is who have been participating in the Faith for decades are now absent. I believe because there is an inability to listen to their concerns and be empathetic to the struggles our families survive with daily.

I am a Baha'i. I love Baha'u'llah and every day I choose how to apply His Teachings into my life. I also go out of my way to support those who feel excluded from the Baha'i community. 

I have taken back my religion. No one can take my love for Baha'u'llah's teachings. My favorite quote from a Baha'i scholar is "Mistakes are an inseparable aspect of learning."  I challenge the Baha'i friends of Alaska to ask what mistakes have we made that has created an absence of a generation of Baha'is and excluded our Native friends?  And what actions can we take to heal from this mistake.

Study the Sacred Writings.  Plan.  Act.  Reflect. 

"The shining spark of truth cometh forth only after the clash of differing opinions."

Domestic Violence Awareness Month- Pass the Peace

Dear friend,

I loved seeing a Super Bowl winning quarterback with a video supporting the end of domestic violence and calling out his friends to Pass the Peace.  To one day see the end of domestic violence, we all need to be talking about how we each Pass the Peace, how we each support our women friends to get help and how we hold our male friends accountable for their behavior.  

What do you think about domestic violence?

Do you think about women with black eyes?  The horror stories of women killed by their partners, their husbands, their ex-partners?  Do you think it's your neighbor?  Your co-worker? Your friend?

Yes.  What about our friends?  What about our friends at Feast?  Can you recognize the less extreme and non-criminal aspects of domestic violence that are violations of Baha'i standards of conduct?  Can you help a friend recognize emotional and verbal abuse?  Economic abuse?  Can we help our friends overcome and prevent all forms of domestic violence?  Can we encourage them to call a domestic violence hotline?  To attend a a domestic violence support group?

How do we do that if we never talk about domestic violence?  

How do we do this if we don't talk to each other about the dark parts of our lives?

"Emotional and verbal abuse, which is a repetitive  pattern of behavior denigrating the abused party's sense of self worth, such as name calling, belittling and sarcastic comments that continue to "beat down" self esteem.  It may also include humiliating, rejecting, or  ignoring the abused party in private or public."  - Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies on Domestic Violence, National Spiritual Assembly of the United States, p. 8

Many of us would NEVER mention if we were experiencing emotional and verbal abuse. I know I didn't. I was ashamed. I couldn't tell my family and friends for years. I kept it hidden and suffered in silence.  When my former husband asked me not to tell anyone, I didn't. It took about 7 years until I finally found myself in counseling and was able to tell another human being about the controlling and humiliating patterns I was being exposed to over and over again.  Much later, about 5 years later, the best resource I found was a domestic violence support group. I realized I was not alone, many other women suffered in very similar ways as I had.  

As I learned about Domestic Violence and it's less extreme and non-criminal aspects, I began to understand I didn't have to live suffering in silence.  I eventually was divorced after 15 years of marriage and I began my journey of healing. I continue to share my story so that others can learn to recognize domestic violence in their lives and make healthy choices, or they can recognize it in their sisters lives or their friends lives and be an advocate for healing and peace.

It was my sister who encouraged me to call a domestic violence hotline for the first time after an incidence of physical abuse and I began my journey of finding my way out of the misery of hell. It took 2 years from that night. I was separated.  We had a Baha'i Year of Waiting (a practice to work on reconciliation before divorce) and then worked on a divorce. I no longer lived with him. But the controlling patterns were still there, I just learned how to build stronger and stronger boundaries. And my home was a refuge. So when he was abusive, I had a safe place to retreat to.  

"In contrast to obvious and extreme forms of domestic violence, the less extreme and non-criminal aspects of domestic violence present the challenge that they may not even be recognized as abusive. Yet they also are violations of Bahá'í standards of conduct, and they affect a broad segment of the population. Overcoming and preventing all forms of domestic violence requires that local Bahá’í communities foster a spirit and active pattern of loving support for families and emphasize both personal and family development in on-going education programs for children, youth and adults."  - Summary policy statement on Domestic Violence of the National Spiritual Assembly of the Baha'is of the United States 

Jumpstart My Heart: Using Art to Re-Charge

Friday was a rough morning.  But with help from my Mom, I was able to head out to the Seattle Art Museum.  The storm in Anchorage had left my inner battery drained.  I survived and made it home safe.  Since arriving home, it's been all about helping the girls rest and prepare for school.  By Friday I was in desperate need of a deep re-charge and for that I know it means a visit to the Seattle Art Musuem.  

The ferry ride was gorgeous. The Mountain was out and the waters were a deep blue with contrasting whitecaps from the strong winds.  Every time I see the Mountain it's a treat. It has so much natural majesty and reminds me how blessed I am just to live here.  As I walked up 1st Avenue to the museum, I chatted with a friend on the phone whose voice always calms me. 

The SAM library is open to the public Wednesday-Friday 10-4pm. So I have started to stop by and learn how to use it. My goal that day was to look at the profiles on the Tlingit pieces, something I'd never done before. As the librarian helped me, I found profiles on some Tlingit pieces including Yéil x'eenh, the Raven Screen, from the Frog House in Kluwan and Xoots Kudas' Bear shirt, a Chilkat tunic, from Angoon. I was hoping the profiles would tell me how the items were collected and where they have been. But they just had copies of published references. So I photocopied an article from American Indian Art Magazine 2005 about the Raven Screen from Klukwan to read later. 

I was hoping to find more information on Keét Gwata, the Killer Whale dagger that I saw on Facebook at a Potlatch in Juneau two weekends ago.  I had been so delightfully surprised to see the dagger I had read about in the Spirit Within at the Potlatch!  I was able to chat through Facebook with Edwell John Jr. who was holding the dagger in the photo. He confirmed it was indeed the Killer Whale Dagger and had been repatriated from the Seattle Art Museum. 

There was no profile on it. In the Spirit Within p.40 the "family history identifies the maker of this important at.óow as Goochk'i Yéis (Dark Wolf). But I was able to find another reference of it in Box of Daylight by Bill Reid p.98 that it is said to have been made 9 generations ago. 

I also found a photo of Núńukvas and his wife in a Canoe in Bella Bella in 1889. I love seeing the old buildings, including the Big House in the background. During the Canoe Journey hosting this summer inside gatherings, like meals and evening Protocol, were in the community hall. So that will be interesting to find the story of what happened to their Big House. 

After the library, I did a quick walk through of the Native American permanent collections. Taking pictures of a Tlingit adze (carving tool) dated 1870 and a Haida Argillite box dated 1885 for a friend who I thought would like them. I walked by the Aboriginal paintings that I love. Being shooed off for being on the phone by a security guard (that was you Suze), I was sent to the kid area. Chuckles. 

And lastly I was able to walk through Modernism in the Pacific Northwest: The Mythic and the Mystical. It was closing in two days. And I wanted one last look at my favorite pieces of Mark Tobey's.  I'd been reading the catalog all summer. It's a rare treat to see a prominent artist who is a Baha'i. I love reading how his spiritual beliefs were a part of all of his work. He lived 1890-1976. So his themes on Peace and a global community are deeply meaningful to me. Knowing that he used his spiritual values to inspire his art resonates with my heart. 

What is art but a way to express what our heart is feeling?  How do we contribute to the dialogue today about World Peace, outgrowing war as a tool of conflict or about our responsibility that all children on earth have full tummies and a school to go to?

My time in the Seattle Art Museum did exactly what I knew it would. It gave me such great joy my inner battery was re-charged. I felt stronger and more capable by reading the books in the library, seeing the magnificent art of my Ancestors and I was inspired to keep asking the questions that need to be asked today.

Recovering from the Abuse of Power and Control in Our Intimate Relationships. How to support a friend.

As I was falling asleep last night I got a call, she was in tears.  As she was telling me about the events that had caused her so much distress, I could reflect back to her the signs of abuse, emotional and mental abuse.  As I have studied domestic violence over the last six years, I have learned how to recognize the spectrum of control that men use to get what they want (mostly it's men who abuse this power in intimate relationships, but not only).  While you are still in the relationship, they can use everything from using words as weapons, to manipulating those around you, to threatening force, all can be done without ever physically touching you.  Once you leave the relationship it seems all their energy is directed towards just making sure your life is miserable.  Full of constant conflict, sucking all your energy, so it's difficult to rebuild a new life without them.

It's really important for our community to be able to recognize the signs of power and control that are the vehicle for domestic violence in our families. We have been taught that hitting women is wrong, but there are many other ways to manipulate a person that doesn't include actually hitting them.  These manipulations change the dynamics of power in an intimate relationship. When the individual who uses force to compel obedience, the other partner quickly loses the freedom to make choices without suffering consequences and learns what is allowed in the relationship without risking a consequence of abusive behavior.

In the book Why Does He Do That, Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, Lundy Bancroft illustrates how one incidence of anger can totally corrupt the power dynamics of a family without ever touching anyone.  

“There is also a third level, which is rarely mentioned in discussions of abuse but which is actually one of the most important dynamics: the benefits that an abuser gets that make his behavior desirable to him. In what ways is abusiveness rewarding? How does this destructive pattern get reinforced?

Consider the following scenario: Mom, Dad, and their children are having dinner on a Wednesday night. Dad is snappy and irritable, criticizing everybody during the meal, spreading his tension around like electricity. When he finishes eating, he leaves the table abruptly and heads out of the room. His ten-year-old daughter says, “Dad, where are you going? Wednesday is your night to wash the dishes.” Upon hearing these words, Dad bursts into flames, screaming, “You upstart little shit, don’t you dare try to tell me what to do! You’ll be wearing a dish on your face!” He grabs a plate off the table, makes like he is going to throw it at her, and then turns away and smashes it on the floor. He knocks a chair over with his hand and storms out of the room. Mom and the children are left trembling; the daughter bursts into tears. Dad reappears in the doorway and yells that she’d better shut up, so she chokes off her tears, which causes her to shake even more violently. Without touching a soul, Dad has sent painful shock waves through the entire family.

We move ahead now to the following Wednesday. Dinner passes fairly normally, without the previous week’s tension, but Dad still strolls out of the kitchen when he finishes eating. Does a family member remind him that it’s his turn to wash the dishes? Of course not. It will be many, many months before anyone makes that mistake again. They quietly attend to the cleanup, or they squabble among themselves about who should do it, taking out their frustrations over Dad’s unfairness and volatility on each other. Dad’s scary behavior has created a context in which he won’t have to do the dishes anytime he doesn’t feel like it, and no one will dare take him to task for it.

Any incident of abusive behavior brings the abuser benefits just as this one did. Over time, the man grows attached to his ballooning collection of comforts and privileges.”

Excerpt From: Bancroft, Lundy. “Why Does He Do That?.” Penguin, 2002. iBooks. 

This material may be protected by copyright.

Check out this book on the iBooks Store: https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewBook?id=361930292

Learning to recognize behaviors that make one partner dominate the other is really important to helping a friend survive an unhealthy relationship. Helping her (or him) see through the manipulation, to see how their partner's words may be in contrast to their actions and to consider leaving.  A friend reminded me it usually takes a woman 7 times before she can finally leave an unhealthy relationship. 7 times!  So when you see a friend going back and forth, just know it's proven and studied. It's they way a person leaves abuse.  Slowly.... 

Be supportive of them. Keep encouraging that they deserve to live in a home where peace is a priority and where they are respected and treated well.  A marriage should be a fortress of well-being.  It should nurture both partners and the children.  If it is a source of constant conflict and harm, the choice to leave should be considered. Counseling should be used. And if in the end, a true change in the dynamics of power can't be created, ending the relationship is actually the best thing you can do.

I'm sharing two of my favorite passages from the Baha'i Faith about abuse in our marriages.  These were bright lights for me when I was stuck in the deep dark depths of the abuse of power and control and because I wasn't being hit, it couldn't see it for domestic violence.  Looking back now, I can see I always submitted to his will. He never had to use physical force to get what he wanted. That was until the end.  Or what became the end.  I knew how dangerous it was when there was physical violence. It only escalates, it doesn't get better.  I wish I had known how to recognize all the abuse that is emotional and mental and very damaging. I would have left sooner. So now I try to share what I have learned, tell my story and help friends choose peace. We will never build world peace if we can't create peace in our homes. Building peace, one heart at a time.  

"The stress laid in the statements of Bahá'u'lláh and Άbdu'l-Bahá on love and harmony as the hallmark of marriage, and in view of Άbdu'l-Bahá's exhortation that each member of the family must uphold the rights of the others, makes it clear that violence in the family is contrary to the spirit of the Faith and a practice to be condemned. It is clear that no husband should subject his wife to abuse of any kind, whether emotional, mental or physical. Such a reprehensible action would be the very antithesis of the relationship of mutual respect and equality enjoined by the Bahá'í writings — a relationship governed by the principles of consultation and devoid of the use of any form of abuse, including force, to compel obedience to one’s will."

Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice, dated April 12, 1990, to a National Spiritual Assembly, in The Local Spiritual Assembly Handbook, 3rd ed., pp. 260-261

NO ONE SHOULD BE SUBJECTED TO TYRANNY

"From the pen of Bahá'u'lláh Himself has come the following statement on the subject of the treatment of women:

The friends of God must be adorned with the ornament of justice, equity, kindness and love. As they do not allow themselves to be the object of cruelty and transgression, in like manner they should not allow such tyranny to visit the handmaidens of God. He, verily, speaketh the truth and commandeth that which benefiteth His servants and handmaidens. He is the Protector of all in this world and the next.

No Bahá'í husband should ever beat his wife, or subject her to any form of cruel treatment; to do so would be an unacceptable abuse of the marriage relationship and contrary to the Teachings of Bahá'u'lláh."

Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice, dated January 24, 1993, to an individual believer

Peace and prosperity every day

When times of tests come, my heart goes to this beach. Six years ago when I was experiencing domestic violence in my home and I finally asked for a separation, I had to go to my parents home in Juneau, Alaska as I waited for my husband to move out of our home.  It took 6 weeks. Six weeks of waiting.

This beach called to me. I sat here in my parents car in tears and saying prayers asking for help to save my marriage. I found serenity on this beach. A deep calm came to me. Was it the knowledge that the Longhouses once stood here?  Is it the energy of generations upon generations living their lives here on this beach?  From time immemorial is how our oral histories record.  

Tomorrow it will be two weeks since I sat on this beach for a couple hours. Flying to Anchorage was cheaper with a stop over in Juneau!  Picnicking with Thai take out with Mary and little William. I watched the sun come out and the clouds dance. I heard the echos of Tlingit songs. An eagle came by and I said Gunalcheesh. I asked the eagle to bring their family by to say hello and slowly watched 8 eagles come and soar in the high, high sky. A bit stunned when I realized there were 8 tiny specks flying above us.  

The water called to me. So I stuck my toes in. I was expecting the water to be freezing, but right near the edge was quite warm. We are taught the water can heal us.  I soaked up all the energy from the water. My feet were happy feet. 

When I was on that beach six years ago, I thought of the relatives that had been born on that beach, who delivered their children on that beach, who died on that beach.  Generations and generations praying and praising the Creator, God, Allah.  The One.  I thought of the historic trauma that has seized the world as we have lived through the birth pains of a global community being born.  And I knew our visionaries saw a time in the future when we would all live in peace and prosperity. 

I knew it was my job to create peace in my life today. So that the next generation could continue building peace until one day it is a reality on this blessed planet of ours. And the Creator's desire for us to live in peace has been fulfilled. When I was a teen I thought we could instantly agree to peace, but now I have learned peace is built every single day. Peace is built when we build justice in our lives every day.

The sun was warm when the forecast had been rain.  Mary says, "Leigh Anne comes to town and the sun comes out."  I laughed and replied, "I have good karma."  Chuckles. And I know my Ancestors cherish me.