My journey on the road we call Life and my relationship with my Higher Power, the Creator

     My mother tells me I became a Baha'i when I was 4 years old.  I said something like, "Grandma's a Bahai and so am I."  I sing prayer songs that I learned as a child. O God! Educate these children... & I have awakened in Thy shelter, O my God...  I went to children's classes and Baha'i Feast (our version of church on Sunday) in San Jose, CA when my Mom studied the Baha'i Faith and became a Baha'i when I was about 7 or 8.  We moved to Lapwai, Idaho when I was in the 5th grade & the next year I was told by a friend and classmate, I would be going to hell because I didn't follow Jesus.  

     It's pretty amazing I was not upset by her statement.  Baha'is don't believe in hell.  Chuckles.  And I do believe in the station of Christ.  I also believe that God made a covenant with humankind never to leave us alone or without guidance. So pre-global village that we have become in the last 200 years, the Creator sent Divine Teachers to people all over the Earth.  I was taught Abraham, Krishna, Buddha, Zoroaster, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad and currently Baha'u'llah were each sent by God to teach humankind as we grew and developed over the Ages.  These are the Founders of all the major religions on Mother Earth.  In Native America there are Divine Teachers in our oral traditions, too.

     My Grandma Ruby was the first in my family to discover Baha'u'llah and His teachings that all support the Unity of Humankind.  My Grandma was raised in a Catholic orphanage when her mother died and her father was violent and absent.  She sent all her 6 kids to Catholic school, Parochial school. My Mom tells scary stories about the strict nuns.  Chuckles.  My Gram, mother of 6, divorced, abandoned by my grandfather who struggled with alcoholism.  While on welfare she was awarded a scholarship to college, in her 40's at UW in Seattle in the time of the American Indian Movement, she learned of the genocide and atrocities perpetrated by the US government and the Churches.   Our homeland stolen, women and children senselessly murdered, small pox infected blankets given to Tribes to kill them, children stolen and sent to schools to "kill the Indian and save the man". 

     In response she wanted nothing to do with White people or the church.  She got her degree to teach adult education and she was living in Neah Bay in Makah territory.  One evening depressed and very sick, she was moved to return a borrowed book to her friend, Klara.  Klara and Bill saw how sick she was, invited her in, and kept her in their home and nursed her back to health.  Klara and Bill are Baha'i and Makah.  In the next year Grandma learned of this young religion that brought a message of the Oneness of Humankind, that it was now time in our human evolution to become One People.  We believe the Creator sent a message that is perfect for today, God is One.  Humankind is One.  And all the religions come from One Divine Source.  It is time for Peace.

     I have always prayed .  I have been engaged in my Faith.  As a youth in Alaska, I was given many opportunities to be of service.  I was a a leader in our local and state wide youth activities.  As a young adult I served as a member of a 2 person Youth Desk, coordinating activities on a statewide level.  At 21 ,  moved to Yakutsk, Russia to serve the Baha'i community there.  I served on Local Spiritual Assemblies, in McGrath, AK, Moscow, ID, Juneau, Ak and Ann Arbor, MI.  We don't have clergy, in each community with 9 Baha'i adults we elect 9 adults to serve on the Local Spiritual Assembly that administers the affairs of the community.

     I would say my relationship with my Higher Power, who I call the Creator, has been strengthened the most through my personal life storm that really hit in the Fall of 2008, 5 years ago.  When I had to choose between an extremely toxic marriage and divorce.  I had to learn how to pray and listen to my inner voice to find my way out of hell.  Others could not see the hell I was stuck in, my husband, his family and the Baha'i Spiritual Assemblies.  Emotional abuse is difficult to recognize if you haven't been trained.  And I had left our home at the first incidence of physical abuse.  I had to learn how to read our Sacred Writings, interpret them for myself and be strong enough to stand my ground when others I loved, cared for and respected could not support my choices.

     Strength came through prayer and meditation.  Each morning I said prayers, read from the Sacred Writings, and planned my day, trying my best to reflect those spiritual principles I read about each morning.  One principle of the Baha'i Faith is each person has a right to interpret the Writings for themselves.  No one can tell me how I should understand " the friends of God...do not allow themselves to be objects of cruelty or transgression.... they should not allow such tyranny to visit upon the handmaidens..."  It took a lot of strength to speak my truth, to my husband, his family and Baha'i Local Spiritual Assemblies, especially when their perspective conflicted with mine.

     In 2011, I found Al-Anon.  And my relationship with my Higher Power, the Creator grew and deepened again.  The 12steps gave me a clearer understanding of how my Higher Power works in my life. And the first 3 dramatically changed my life.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (I'd add the multi-generational effects) -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

2.  Came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3.  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives to the care of God as we understood him.

     2 years later, I have more sanity and more peace in my life than ever before.  I am healing from a toxic marriage and healing from the hardships of childhood with multi-generational symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism.  I build peace in my heart each day.  Build peace in my homeland in my community, which I believe has direct consequences on building world peace.  If we can't have peace in our hearts and our homes, how do we hope to build peace in the World?

     One lesson essential to this strength is my relationship and love for the Blessed Beauty, a title of Baha'u'llah, and understanding it is separate from the Baha'i community, we are imperfectly perfect humans, and even it's Local Spiritual Assemblies.  The love, grace and mercy of the Creator showers down upon me every moment of the day, and many times these showers come from people who are not Baha'i, who are not Christian, who do not believe in God, or have their own personal understanding of their Higher Power.  

Challenge:  how do you describe your Higher Power?  Could you practice Step 11 - sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out?

http://www.bahai.org/

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/how-to-find-a-meeting

http://www.alanonphonemeetings.org/

Remix: New Modernities in a Post-Indian World, or the Healing Power of Art

    This is the title to an exhibit I saw at the AGO, Art Gallery of Ontario, in the Spring of 2009.  I was living in Ann Arbor, MI separated from my husband of 13 years and he was taking our kids to his parents for a week.  It was my first week off from kids in 8 years.  I looked at a map and my budget and thought how far can I drive and what do I want to do.  I considered Chicago. The city has tons of Art.  And it is also home to one of the nine Houses of Worship on Mother Earth of the Baha'i  international community.  Then  a thought popped into my mind, one of my best friends lives in Toronto, about the same driving distance, just north instead of west.  I'd have a place to stay (for real cheap, free!), see my best friend (of 10 years when we both lived in Juneau, AK) and I was sure I could find Art in Toronto.  My heart felt the pull, the energy was strong and so Toronto it was!

     In the car I listened to a podcast of Terry Gross interviewing John Mellencamp, which completely rocked my world.  He shared my favorite song "Jack and Diane" was about an inter-racial couple.  Jack was an African American.  Diane was European America.  Mr. Mellencamp shared America, or corporate music America, was not ready for an inter-racial romance in 1982. Chuckles, I still think we are struggling in 2013, but we have come a long way in those 31 years.  

     I had looked online and discovered the AGO's current exhibit was a Native American contemporary art collection.  When I saw that, I knew why my heart pulled me to Toronto.  The art was stunning.  The diversity of the media, video games, film, huge paintings, sculpture, multi-media was phenomenal. I was captured heart and soul.  The translation of our Ancient Sacred values into contemporary art forms stunned me.  The soul of Our Peoples was on display.  It was such a strong spiritual experience for me, I call it a Pilgrimage.  

     Dustin Craig's 4-Wheel  War Pony video captures the passion of Indian youth and the skateboard.  "What may seem to be White Mountain Apache youth borrowing 'pop-culture' in place of their own is actually Apache culture of young men manifesting itself within the skateboard culture," says Dustin in the exhibit catalog.  Just the idea of the transformation of what used to be a youth pony culture to today's skateboard, blew my mind.  I started to think of my own 4-wheel War Pony, my Honda Accord.  Listed in Dustin's credentials: R.E.Z. University.  

     The image of "Si je t'aime, prends garde a toi" (If I love you, beware)  by Kent Monkman (Cree) instantly surprises you.  Taking famous and iconic images and blending modern themes.  The sight of James Earl Fraser's End of Trail horseback rider kissing passionately another male is breath-taking and thought provoking.  The AGO also has another of Monkman's masterpieces, The Academy, which I could look at for hours and inspires me to learn more about the classics.

     I could go on and on about my hours in that exhibit.  One of the artists stated a quote, -Our people will sleep for a hundred years, the artists will awaken them. (Or something close to that).  Our history of the last 200 years of life in our Homeland is traumatic.  Historic trauma is the scientific term.  We are suffering the ills of poverty, addiction, family violence, suicide because of our Homeland being stolen, our children kidnapped and sent to far away assimilating schools, the robbing of our natural resources of food (buffalo and fish) being the greatest grand larceny ever.  Genocide is the term.  Yet we are still here.  Quietly and slowly recovering.

     This trip inspired my soul.  Gave me the strength to choose Peace in my home.  The journey of separation, divorce, post-divorce has been the most challenging experience of my life.  But at the heart of the storm was the choice of Peace or constant conflict.  I learned when I chose Peace the Creator sent every tool and resource I needed to build Peace in my life.  Some tools were books, some were friends and family, some were professionals, some were blessed moments with nature.  And some are Art.

     If you are privileged to attend a Sacred Pow-Wow, you will witness the Spiritual Truths that the indigenous Peoples of America honor, guard, and keep safe for a future that depends on them.  We honor our relationship with The Creator, Mother Earth & Father Sky.  Our warrior-veterans have a position of honor.  We respect the noble representatives of our Sister Tribes (royalty).  The station of Men and Women is equal.  Elders are served first.  Children are cherished, protected, disciplined and trained.  We pray and testify to the glory of life on Earth through song and dance.

     How much stronger and healthier would the world be if we had these Spiritual Principles infused in our every policy?  

     

Challenge: can you identify in your family a source of multi-generational trauma that needs healing: poverty, addiction, family violence, soldiers returning from war?  Is there an area in your life you are struggling with today?  Can you see that it may be linked to a habit inherited from  your original family?  If you have insurance consider seeing a counselor, if not consider listening to a phone Al-Anon meeting.  You are automatic clay muted when you join.  So you can just listen.  Hearing how other people are healing from multi-generational issues is very healing. You are not alone.  And there is help and support on the journey of healing.

http://www.alanonphonemeetings.org/

The Artists of Remix: New Modernities in a Post-Indian World

http://nmai.si.edu/exhibitions/remix/artists.html

A Pace of Grace, or how to slow down and enjoy life every day!

     When the World speeds up, SLOW DOWN is a piece to a Native prophecy I heard when I was young, maybe a pre-teen or early teen.  At first I wasn't sure what it meant, how does the World speed up?  Then I started to think about history, the Indigenous Peoples of the Pacific Northwest have only had to begin to work with European-Americans since Lewis & Clark came to explore our world, 1804-1806, just over 200 years ago.  Anatomically human life began about 200,000 years ago.  So in the last 200 years versus the last 199, 800 years life has moved in Warp Speed.

     In our country, our world is speeding up in many ways.  One way for me to measure how crazy (not a very scientific term) life is I look at my 12 year old daughter and how life has changed since I was 12.   Now I am quite old school.  No PG-13 movies.  No boyfriends (I was boy crazy at her age, and I hope she can avoid that).  No make up.  No body revealing clothes.  She's asking to watch or read Twilight cause "everyone at my school" has already seen it.  My principle here is I am not everyone's mother.  Their parents parent them and I parent you.  I also explained the Twilight saga is all about Romance.  I enjoyed it as an adult.  She is 12 years old.  She is no where near dating.  Now life should be about passions of life, art, science, dance, swimming, exploring and service to the community.

     I don't watch much kid tv.  But what I've seen of Miley Cyrus's show and icarly, there is way too much about romance and dating.  Why in the heck do pre-teens need so much storyline about Romance?  We have a whole wide world full of fascinating subjects to explore and discover?  There are sports and being active, science and exploration, arts like filmmaking, singing, musical instruments, and dance.  There is service to people in our community who need assistance, elders, sick people, people who deal with poverty.  

     It's my spiritual value that dating is to get to know another's character for  the purpose of marriage.  Well, at 12 marriage is far, far away.  And dating can healthily start later.  When she knows who she is, and what kind of partner she should be looking for.  I learned a lesson from each relationship that I value.  And I'm grateful to the young men who have been a part of my life.  My only regret is that I started so young.  Yes, it was quite innocent at 12, but truly I was obsessed!  Chuckles.  

     If you look at our media that is the best way to see how fast our world has sped up.  News and entertainment is constantly moving.  Go go go, seems to to be a major theme of our life.  Everyone complains of not having enough time to enjoy the finer things in life.  Our country is ALL about work, well in the average American's life.  We don't have time to rest.  We have the least vacation time of the developed countries.  Europeans take MONTH long holidays!  What a weird concept for us to grasp.  Just constant exposure to media makes our tempo increase. Do you remember enjoying Saturday morning cartoons and the after-school specials?  Now our kids have Disney channel 24 hours a day and more than one!  No wonder our country struggles with obesity, our kids don't go outside to play with the neighbors anymore.  Chuckles.

     If you live in a rural area, or a small town, it's easy to recognize the faster pace of the City.  You just feel like you have to do more.  Fill up your day.  Keep doing something.  When you get back home, you feel relieved that you can slow down again.

     So how do we slow down in a Warp Speed culture?  For me I choose not to have commercial tv in my home.  We watch movies and tv on Netflix and Amazon Prime now.  The lack of commercials selling us things we don't need is a luxury. Now that I don't see the gorgeous 30 second shorts convincing me someday I want a Mercedes or a Volvo, I am perfectly content with my Honda Accord 2007.  And my bumper is still cracked cause I used the insurance money to put it on a barge to Washington.  Chuckles.

     I am not constantly exposed that beauty means European stick figures.  I'm a brown Indipina woman and I rarely see Asians or Natives portrayed in any media. As a dear friend pointed out Hollywood is all about Barbie, African Barbie, Latino Barbie, East Indian Barbie.  I love any movie where the majority of the cast is non-European descent.  Bend it Like Beckham, Bride and Prejudice, the Color Purple, Boyz N the Hood, the Debut (a film with Filipino Americans). 

     One of the biggest myths of a Fast Culture is we should be more successful and accomplished at our age.  39/40 and we should be independently wealthy by now right?  An established career.  Homeownership. A retirement fund.  I am a stay at home Mom by profession.  I gave up my home in divorce.  And we used all our retirement to fund his education.  I struggle to balance my budget each month.  Chuckles. But I have chosen to look at it from another perspective.  I live in a peaceful home, that I rent.  I am an amazing mother.  I am still studying for another profession.  And the Creator will have to assist me in that retirement fund!  

     I slow down each day.  By taking time to take care of myself.  My goal is to have a peaceful and sustainable life.  I lived crazy for too many years.  I sleep at least 7 hours. I pray each morning.  I schedule activities that bring joy to my life.  There are some things I cannot control, there are minimum requirements to the care and nurturing of children.  But I pace myself each day and rest.  

     A Pace of Grace that is how I slow down....

Challenge:  are you feeling like there isn't enough time in your day?  Re-prioritize.  Decide on one thing that makes you feel happy, jumpstarts your heart, and start your day with that.  Do that for a week and see how you feel!  

10 Things that Jumpstart My Heart

1.  Roller coasters

2. Art, especially Native art

3. Music

4. Dance

5.  Wii Yoga

6. Chocolate

7.  Coffee

8.  Friendship

9.  Prayer

10.  Writing

And I can't leave out Service #11

     So I'm pretty much a vegetable.  I'm on the couch cause I woke up at the usual 5 am. And I'm drinking some caffeinated coffee now.  The first cup was decaf with a hope that I may go back to sleep.  But that's not happening.  As I was thinking about what to write about today and if I wanted to write.  I decided to write about something fun and easy.  No hard brain work allowed.  Here we go!

     1. Rollercoasters.  Now my first memory of a roller coaster is going through a cork screw, rolling upside down and being thrown this way and that way by the intense forces at Great America near San Jose, CA.  I must have been around 5 or 6.  I was so excited to be tall enough, finally to go on the Big roller coaster.  I'd been watching my cousins ride and I couldn't wait til it was my turn.    We moved out of California when I was about 11.  So we left roller coasters behind when we headed to Nez Perce Country, and Lapwai, Idaho.  In 2002 my family, parents, sisters, brother in law, husband, daughter and niece went to a Baha'i conference in Orlando and  spent a day at each park, Magic Kingdom and Universal Studios.  I was thrilled  to ride roller coasters for 2 days straight.  And I lead the pack with three rides on the Hulk, the newest, fastest coaster.  In 2010, when I was planning my first post divorce trip alone and without kids, I chose the same Baha'i conference and spent 3 days in Disney World.  It was heaven on earth.

     2. Art and especially Native art.  Some pieces have such strong energy in them.  They are like magnets and tug at your soul.  Making me feel so strongly. I love paintings. The European classics.  My first real adoration of a specific piece is a painting of Judith at the Detroit Institute of Art.  She holds the blood dripping head of a general who had imprisoned  her people.  She disguises herself as a lady of the night and cuts off his head freeing her people.  What an awesome story about the strength, wisdom and cunning of a woman warrior.  My Tsimshian and Tlingit heritage brings appreciation of art into my genes.  Every day items of our lives, spoons, bowls, storage boxes were gorgeous and full of stories of our relationship with the Creator, Mother Earth and all her creatures.  I am a huge fan of Native artists who weave the ancient traditions with today's experiences and influences.  Google Benjamin Schleifman of Alaska, Brian Jensen of BC, and Kent Monkman of Ontario.

     3, 4 & 5.  Music, Dance, Wii Yoga.  The first Vinyl I bought was Dancin' in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen and Vacation by the Go-go's.  I was about 10.  Madonna's lucky star was on MTV.  Hearing a particular song can take me back in time to dancing alone in the house in the 5th or 6th grade.  To slow dancing to In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins in my cousins basement.  Hearing Jay-Z's Young Forever brings me back to a gorgeous night in Finland.   My favorite artists are Tara Ellis, the Dawnbreaker Collective, and Nabil & Karim, who blend our Faith with contemporary music.  I found Wii yoga almost 2 years ago while living in the frigid north of Anchorage, AK.  Wii Fit enabled me to exercise and Be Active in my own home without the need of a baby sitter throughout a LONG, dark and cold winter.  It's not as spiritual an experience as my first Yoga Teacher, Lila, but it did its job and I am addicted to Yoga.

     6 &7. Coffee and chocolate.  Now if you have known me a long time, since I was a kid, you know Ice Cream should belong here.  Specifically Hagen Daz Coffee.  But I've since grown dairy intolerant and only eat ice cream when I want to deal with the consequences, chocolate is my go to treat. And good chocolate.  No high fructose corn syrup.  I usually buy a bar out of the Organic section, with ginger, or raspberries, or blueberries in it.  And if I really want to spoil myself I buy a $10 six piece salted caramel chocolate. Like I did yesterday, after making it thru 48 hours of stress, an ER visit, a doctor's office visit and finally surgery to remove a piece of pencil from my daughter's foot.  

     8 & 10.  Friendship and Writing.  I think keeping in touch with friends is an art.  Some friends keep in touch a few times a year.  Some a few times a day.  Facebook and unlimited texts are great tools to keep in touch.  I have been blessed with amazing girlfriends.  I adore hearing from my friends from 5th & 6th grade at Lapwai Elementary, even though I was at my bratiest stage.  I'm amazed they still talk to me!  Since high school I've lived in Tacoma, WA  Juneau, AK,  Yakutsk, Russia, Moscow, ID, Ann Arbor, MI and Anchorage, AK.  At every  one of those homes, the Creator has sent amazing girlfriends.  When we talk BFF's I have several and I feel blessed.  Writing is something that comes naturally.  I have kept a journal since high school.  It's pretty amazing to read where my head was at 18 years ago, my loves, my hopes and dreams, the small things of everyday life.  It also kept me sane during the darkest times of my life.  I could write things I could not speak of to anyone on earth.  And it would validate my experience.  It also helped me recognize the patterns of emotional abuse in my marriage.  Now writing every morning for a blog brings a joy and sense of accomplishment that I find priceless. 

     9 & 11.  Prayer and service.  So I went over 10 things but when I remembered service I could not leave it out.  And I saved  these two for last.  When I think about it, they are actually strongly linked.  Each morning I wake  up, I read a passage from the Sacred Writings and say at least one prayer.  I think about all my family and friends who are in need of prayer, who are sick or struggling with a life storm.  I take some time to think about the issues going on in my life.  I think about how the reading can be applied into my life.  How do I reflect these spiritual values into my every day life?  How do I honor the Creator and practice the virtues of faith, honesty,  work as worship and service to others?And then I plan my day.  I look at my weekly calendar.  My duties of caring for my 2 precious daughters.  Time for self care and joy.  Service to others. 

     My most common service is supporting friends through personal life storms.  Through Facebook and texts, I can contact friends daily or on a regular schedule depending on their storm and  where they are in recovery.  Is the eye of the storm upon them? I may contact them a couple times a day.  Have they been scooped out of the ocean and back in a canoe warming up and catching their breath?  Are they in dry clothes, rested and facing their fear to get back in the canoe again?  I reassure them storms pass, the Creator sends storms to teach us skills, look for the light at the end of the tunnel, and keep focused on their side of the street.  We are perfectly imperfect. And if you are confused by someone's character use the secret decoder of watching if their actions match their words.  Many people have the talent of charming words, but in the end their skills don't match their words and you can have a trust broken, even though they keep SAYING what you hope to hear.  

    If friends are nearby, I can drop off soup when they are sick.  Watch kids so they can rest.  Make dinner when a baby is born.  Invite them to stay in my home if they need a safe place of refuge.  True prayers are actions.  If you see someone in need, you have to find a way to take an action to help them.

    A friend recently said, "Leigh Anne you are so sweet,"  when I offered to loan her $50.  The Creator is sweet to me, so I pay Him back by paying it forward.

Challenge:  what are 10 things that Jumpstart your heart?  Write them down.  Choose one to fit into your day today. And if you see someone in need, figure out an action to help them.  Are they hungry? Feed them.  Are they tired? Help them rest.  Would $20 help them met a need?  Gift it to them.  

Privileged to have been born in the USA, AKA as Indian Country, Or each day we choose to walk towards peace or war.

     The United States of America.  It's a complex relationship for me because on one hand this country is historically responsible for the theft of the indigenous People's homeland, genocide of our People and continued Oppression in our lives today as we strive to recover from 500 years of brutal contact and colonization.  If you can't see today's Oppression, look at Indian Reservations today. The harsh conditions of life are not because Indians are not capable of health and well-being, it's because the players of the Monopoly game of the USA stole Board Walk and Park Place and left us with those cheap purple blocks, I can't even remember what their name is.  

     On the other hand, our country is the most diverse country on earth.  We have citizens from EVERY country on this planet.  We shelter those who have suffered throughout Mother Earth.  Immigrants have come to these shores seeking prosperity and freedom of religion since the Pilgrims landed.  We have the freedom of speech, where in Russia a rock band was jailed recently for their criticism of the government.  A blind Chinese citizen fled his country for criticizing his government.  Americans fought the Revolution because we didn't like how England was controlling us unfairly.  We have the freedom of religion.  England and Ireland have had bloody conflict over being Catholic and Protestant.  Can you imagine New York City bombing itself over and over for that?  India and Pakistan's conflict is also over the conflict of religion. It's a nuclear threat to the whole world.  

    It's also complex for me because our government was actually based on Indigenous governing practices.  When the founding fathers didn't want a monarchy anymore, who did they look to for a model of governing themselves? The near by Indians.  The balance of power is based on how the local Indians governed themselves.  But today we have virtually no voice in that government.

    Our Constitution states:

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

     It is a blessing and a privilege to have at our foundation this and the Bill of Rights.  Let's just focus on the First Amendment.

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

     200 years ago these words meant something different.  Or they were applied differently to be more exact.  We didn't have citizens who came from every Nation on the planet, every religion on the planet.  But today we do.  And it is our duty as Americans to be strong enough in our own beliefs to allow every other citizen their choice of what they believe.  If there is a God or not.  If they choose to practice the religion of their Ancestors, to convert to another or not to practice one at all.

     If Protestants and Catholics have only come to peace recently in England and Ireland, don't you think we should allow Christians and Muslims some time to discover how to establish peace?  Protestants and Catholics follow the same Sacred Book and the Life of Jesus Christ, they interpret those differently.  Muhammad confirms the station of Christ and His Book respects Christians, as far as I have studied and read the Quran.  The disagreements come from a clash of cultures and interpretation.  And not allowing someone their basic human right of choosing their own religion.

     Why are we prejudiced against Muslims?  Because we don't know any.  That's what I would guess.  I met my first Muslim friends in Moscow, Idaho at the University of Idaho.  They were young women from Malaysia.  They looked just like me, my Filipina side that is.  We shared the Fast.  Baha'i Fast sunrise to sunset for 19 days each year.  Muslims for 40.  If you know Christian history, they used to Fast, too.  And Lent is a similar practice, sacrificing something to show Faith.  I was amazed to learn how many Asians are Muslim. If I remember right there are more Muslims in Asia than in the Middle East.  

 And do you know where the largest community of Middle Easterners outside the Middle East is ?  Outside Detroit, Michigan. 

    Muslims have come to America seeking prosperity and freedom of religion just like every other group of Immigrants: the Pilgrims, the English, the German, the Jews, the Italians, the Scandinavians, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Filipinos, the Africans, and the post Soviet Nations.  They come from every continent.  And we have all together, with the Indigenous Peoples, created a greater country because of our diversity.  

     Every immigrant group comes and experiences prejudice and racism.  Look at our history.  We have been prejudiced against our own citizens, the Jews, the Germans during the World Wars, the Japanese we put in Internment Camps.  African Americans still experience racism on a daily basis.  

     We are stronger for our diversity.  Or country is built from each group of immigrants who come for the American dream.  Who would do the low skilled work that our whole country benefits from?  All our service industry is powered by our immigrant population.  Who helps produce our food?  

     Today as we remember what happened to New York City 12 years ago, I hope we have learned religious extremists like the perpetrators of 9-11 and  Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols of the Oklahoma City bombing hold us all hostage in fear and prejudice.  We must turn to the lives of Jesus Christ and Muhammad and learn from each other how to be better human beings, and build peace not hatred.

Challenge:  if you have never read the Quran or learned about the life of Muhammad, read from the Quran.  And take a few minutes to learn about the life of Muhammad.  

Cool Quran site with Arabic too

http://quran.com/1

The Quran

http://www.clearquran.com/mobi/

Timeline of life of Muhammad from PBS

http://www.pbs.org/muhammad/timeline_html.shtml

Is being an ER magnet genetic? Or the long term effects of adrenaline & toxic stress.

     So last night as I comforted my 7 year old in the ER waiting area, she said I'm scared. Her body was shaking.  She had fell off her sister's bed playing and fell onto a box of pencils.  The cut looked deep, so I knew we were headed to the ER.  She asked as I packed a bag, what could happen at the ER and I probably answered too honestly saying, she may need stitches.  She started crying even harder.  In the car, she said I'm more scared of the stitches than my foot hurts.  I was impressed she could identify and express her feelings so clearly. At the ER, she kept saying I'm scared.  Each time I would validate her, saying its ok to be scared.  I explained how she knew how ERs work (she has a history of asthma attacks and severe nut allergies), they are a scary place and her adrenaline is pumping.  

     I have been wondering about long term affects of adrenaline on our body and our brain for months now.  Last year sometime watching UWtv I learned about toxic stress.  Googling toxic stress, Harvard University's  Center on the Development says  there are three types of stress, a positive stress that is temporary and actually has a positive effect on the brain, a fast run down a ski slope is one example given.  Tolerable stress like a car accident.  It's longer but still temporary, it has an end.  Then toxic stress "strong, frequent and/or prolonged adversity."  Toxic stress is very unhealthy.

     When I saw the UWtv program I recognized I had lived in toxic stress for a long time, I would say 11 years.   8 years of supporting a spouse through medical school, residency and raising 2 children basically on my own (he was in the hospital 80 hours a week & exhausted when he was home), coping in  an unhealthy marriage followed by a separation and divorce and 2 years of post divorce co-parenting hell.  The toxic stress stopped when I moved out of state to be closer to my family for support as a single Mom.

     Googling long term effects of adrenaline, the Portland Clinic of Holistic Health says:

"Adrenalin makes the blood flow towards your muscles, heart, and brain, and away from your skin and digestive tract.  Your heart beats rapidly and forcefully increasing heart rate and blood pressure.  While this is happening, your eyes dilate and your blood vessels constrict.  Finally, the sugar store in your liver is converted to glucose for quick energy.  All of this helps you get away from the wild beast!!"

Long term secretion of adrenaline can cause increases in blood pressure, poor digestion including absorption of vital nutrients, changes the hormonal rhythm that regulates sleep.  Cortisol disruption with increased stress promotes weight gain. 

     The Harvard University Center on Development says:

"When toxic stress response occurs continually, or is triggered by multiple sources, it can have a cumulative toll on an individual’s physical and mental health—for a lifetime. The more adverse experiences in childhood, the greater the likelihood of developmental delays and later health problems, including heart disease, diabetes, substance abuse, and depression. Research also indicates that supportive, responsive relationships with caring adults as early in life as possible can prevent or reverse the damaging effects of toxic stress response."

     I have had just a little over a year without toxic stress in my life.  After 11 years, it has taken Al-Anon, counseling, making self care a priority, resting, doing things that make me joyful, & the love and support of family and friends to change my life.  Little by little, day by day.

Challenge:  if you think you may be experiencing toxic stress or have at some point in your life, consider reading the articles below.  If you think someone you love and care about is experiencing toxic stress, talk to them about it or share this blog, or the articles below.  I rearranged the 7 tips from the Holistic Health site, in the order I think they are in importance!

PS  My daughter had an X-ray and has a piece of the pencil deep in her foot, so she will have a procedure to remove it today.  After her initial tears passed, she was in a good mood.  Some sugar via apple juice, numbing cream and Kipper via Netflix, all helped to balance her out.  

7 Tips for healthier happier Adrenalline glands (rearranged by me)

3.  Work to identify stressors. Work? Family? Finances? All of the above?  Use a counselor or try an Al-Anon meeting.

1. Be active a 10 minute walk can affect your mood

2. Add vitamin B & C and herbal medicines like ginseng. 

4. Avoid sugar, refined carbs and excessive caffeine

5. Acupuncture and Biothermal therapy

6. Stress management techniques like yoga (wii yoga rocks) meditation and journaling

7. Make time to do something that makes you joyful. (I say joy jump starts my heart!)

Portland Clinic of Holistic Health

http://www.holistichealthpc.com/the-health-effects-of-stress/

Harvard University

http://developingchild.harvard.edu/topics/science_of_early_childhood/toxic_stress_response/

Forgiveness, or climbing my Mount Denali of Forgiveness

     I have been struggling with forgiveness for quite a while since my divorce.  I used to not have any struggle forgiving people who had offended me or injured me in some way.  At least since I've been an adult.  I could process my hurt feelings and move on.  Maybe not in the healthiest way.  But I did move on.  I did not hold a grudge.  When they say that divorce is like a death,it's very true.  It shatters your world.  But if you share children with the person, you still have to deal with them on a regular basis.  If someone died, you never have to cooperate or argue with them again.  So with divorce the stress isn't necessarily over.  

     I like to think of my post divorce situation in terms of international relations.  Sometimes diplomatic channels are closed. And you are at a standstill.  Negotiating peace agreements or treaties can be a long process.  Finding a middle ground that is fair to both parties is complex.  Especially if you don't have a healthy system of communication. 

     Another part of forgiveness is grief.  Allowing yourself to grieve for the injury.  It took years for me to see what was truly my side of the fence in my marriage and in my divorce.  In an unhealthy marriage truth gets entangled with lies, deceit and manipulation.  It took me years to get over the grief of the loss of my marriage.  To let go of the romantic love I had felt for him.  To let go of the dreams of the future I had for us and our children and grandchildren.  I call it chronic grief, cause it was always there.  

     I read an article about forgiveness. It advised that you embrace the reason of the injury.  Validate your experience.  Don't fight it. And then let go and move on with your life.  How could I validate 8 years of struggle?  We were married for 13 years when we separated but I would say 8 were hard.  I could only process the injuries slowly, a little at a time.  And let go, a little at a time.  So now  today is the anniversary of our marriage 18 years ago in 1995.  Our divorce 3 years ago in 2010 .  Funny I didn't even realize that until I just this moment looked at the calendar. Chuckles.  So taking 3 years or so to forgive and move on past 8 years of struggle, and what I call my own personal hell, is not too bad, huh?

     We may have difficult and complex relationships in our life.  Our parents, siblings, former spouses, former in-laws, people who were are tied to forever.  Many of us grew up in dysfunctional homes.  The divorce rate is 50% for goodness sake!  We may have issues of family violence, emotional abuse, physical abuse, child sexual abuse, poor communication skills, poor conflict resolution skills.  We may have decades of injuries all piled up in our hearts.

     The Second Step of Al-Anon also helped me with forgiveness.  2.  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.  The Creator has the ability to restore my sanity and help me process forgiveness.  It is not a task I want to do alone.  And if you do not believe in the Creator, maybe you can believe that the whole Universe strives for balance and forgiveness is a part of that.  

     Forgiveness is about forgiving myself, too.  Today I feel like I climbed the Mount Everest of Forgiveness, or  the Denali of Forgiveness, since I am Alaskan.  And when people step on my toes today, I can forgive, through validating the injury and letting go, much more quickly.  

Challenge:  think about a relationship that needs to be healed with forgiveness. Maybe it's with yourself.  Read the article below if you you'd like additional reading.  It's the article that helped me on my journey.  And pray or meditate about what you would want that relationship to look like in the future.  For me, it's all about Peace.

     

     

http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/How-to-Forgive-Others-Health-Benefits-of-Forgiveness-Fred-Luskin